Friars get roasted at last as historic NYC clubhouse put up for sale

The aged historical East 55th Friars clubhouse is into foreclosure, going up for waste now. Owed is, springiness aliases return a farthing, $13 million. There exists Joey Adams’ book “Here’s To The Friars: The Heart of Show Business.” Sweet roast successful bid worldly like:

Jack Benny erstwhile brought a pig onstage. Said George Burns: “The pig was to eat up nan worldly that nan assemblage threw astatine him” . . . Eddie Cantor’s dressing room doorway bore nan fable “Jesus saves.” Under it personification wrote: “But not for illustration Eddie Cantor” . . . Told Calvin Coolidge died, Dorothy Parker replied, “How tin you tell?”

The Friars Club, captured successful August 1992. New York Post

Milton Berle: “My woman is sick, my brother’s hospitalized, I was deed by a car and my kid ran away.” Bob Hope: “Great. Glad to perceive it.” Comedian Jan Murray: “Hey, foreigner, make maine a pastrami sandwich.” Waiter: “And your parents were Native American?”

Shirley MacLaine: “Forget commotion astir JFK’s emotion affairs. Better he bleeped nan girls than he bleeped nan country” . . . Martin & Lewis’ Jerry Lewis, told nobody’s arsenic funny arsenic he, was asked to chair 1 dinner, said: “Can’t. I’m successful Europe making a movie.” Chairman: “So propose personification else.”

Three wise sheep and me

A leader blesses nan parishioners successful church. A cardinal blesses nan animals successful Radio City Music Hall.

Our Cardinal would’ve been large connected nan ark. Yesterday, a camel chewed his cap. Two horned sheep sniffed his coat. His Eminence’s yearly blessing of nan animals was to announce their coming Christmas pageant. I’m on yearly as Timothy Cardinal Dolan’s individual zookeeper. Also because he claims, “I cognize for a truth that she was location personally astatine Jesus’ birth.”

So here’s nan buzz

The Bee Totem. It’s astir bees’ guardianship of this planet. 1,000 pieces entombed successful resin astatine Two Manhattan West. Bees, I’m told, are “the planet’s astir important specimens” — yeah, fine, but show that to nan politician and you’re a amended man than I am, Gunga Din.

Another bulletin. The Broadway Association has met monthly for 113 years. Mayor Eric was scheduled location Sept. 26. He sewage indicted. Was reinvited for Oct. 24. Came WNBA Liberty’s ticker portion parade. Listen, there’s ever November’s Thanksgiving. Turkey Day. 

H’wood battle

NEW movie. Remember Russell Crowe in “Gladiator”? Quarter of a period later they’re still schlepping astir immoderate colosseum successful togas. This time, bad rat ass feline is Denzel Washington on shmattas from could beryllium possibly steroids — aliases immoderate different 1940 movie. Lots of slashing and smashing. It’s a Ridley Scott toga thing. Perfect for our love-thy-neighbor predetermination warmth.

Bad twelvemonth for nan circus. We emotion them but they conscionable heard this sad announcement: Only capable money near to salary disconnected 3 of you — nan Strong Man, nan Bone Crusher and Ivan nan Knife Thrower.

Only not successful New York, kids, only not successful New York. Yet.