Dear Abby: My husband keeps defending his deadbeat baby mama

DEAR ABBY: I person been joined to “Ellis,” a awesome man, for a twelvemonth and a half. This is simply a 2nd matrimony for each of us.

My older children are connected their own. Ellis has 3 boys (ages 15, 21 and 23) who unrecorded pinch us. The oldest is autistic.

My hubby and his ex-wife, “Mia,” stock associated custody, but our location is nan superior home. 

Mia is expected to person nan kids 2 days a week and each different weekend. We person nan children travel to our location aft schoolhouse because she useful and nan rule is, if location is kid care, some parents must salary equally.

Mia takes afloat advantage of our kindness and usually doesn’t prime nan kids up until 9 p.m. connected her nights. Sometimes, she doesn’t show up astatine all, which leaves america each hanging. 

Ellis refuses to talk to Mia astir this because it ends up successful an statement and he says he can’t make her do anything.

He besides won’t spell backmost to tribunal to make her responsible because of nan costs and nan truth that he doesn’t want nan boys to spot him return their mother to court. 

This business is taxing, and Ellis gets upset pinch maine erstwhile I show him he needs to face Mia aliases put to driblet nan kids disconnected astatine her activity connected her days.

I americium exhausted, and this is putting a immense strain connected our marriage. I’m not judge it will past if this keeps up. Please show maine what to do. — STRESSED STEPMOM

DEAR STEPMOM: Does your hubby cognize really powerfully you consciousness astir this? You 2 are overdue for a frank conversation.

As overmuch arsenic your hubby doesn’t want to walk nan money, nan reply to this problem whitethorn dishonesty successful a lawyer’s office.

The truth that Mia doesn’t adhere to nan custody statement whitethorn alteration nan magnitude of money he whitethorn beryllium required to salary her, aliases vice versa. 

Two of their “children” are adults now. Has location been immoderate chat astir erstwhile and if they will unrecorded independently?

The youngest is only a twelvemonth distant from being capable to legally thrust himself to his mother’s if she can’t prime him up. All of nan work for them should not beryllium falling connected you. 

DEAR ABBY: What do you deliberation of a business successful which adjacent family members and adjacent friends misspell my daughter’s name? She is now 22.

We precocious celebrated her assemblage graduation, and I was appalled to spot her sanction botched connected cards. This has been done to her complete nan years. 

Abby, her sanction sounds akin to a much communal name, and I person deliberately written her sanction retired connected invitations and texts, etc.

It upsets me, and she already struggles school others really to pronounce her name, fto unsocial constitute it properly.

I consciousness a deficiency of attraction aliases respect that they don’t return nan clip to beryllium sure. Am I right? –– MISSPELLED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MISSPELLED: How do these friends and relatives dainty your daughter? If they dainty her well, forgive nan mutilation of nan sanction you gave her.

She’s an big now, truthful fto her conflict her ain battles from now connected alternatively than alienate her from folks who attraction astir her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.