Dear Abby: My 55-year-old daughter has terrible taste — is there anything I can do?

DEAR ABBY: My simple schoolhouse coach passed distant recently. I hadn’t seen her successful much than 20 years because of really she made maine feel. I retrieve her arsenic manipulative and having a antagonistic cognition toward nan little fortunate. Because I didn’t travel from a rich | aliases salient family, I was subjected to humiliation, fearfulness and intimidation. I retrieve her arsenic money-driven, judgmental and favoring nan privileged, who she believed to beryllium smarter. 

Because I had dyslexia, I had difficulties reference and interpreting words, truthful she made maine guidelines and look shame for hours. Now that she is dead, I recognize I ne'er had nan chance to show her really incorrect she was, and that successful mediate schoolhouse my antagonistic cognition toward acquisition changed for nan amended because I had fantabulous teachers and awesome classmates. 

Those individuals who are eulogizing her now are nan aforesaid ones she promoted and favored. I conscionable wish I could speak my portion because galore were mistreated. — SCARRED IN TEXAS

DEAR SCARRED: I deliberation you person stated your feelings very well. This coach whitethorn not person recognized she had a student pinch a learning disablement and punished you erstwhile she should person realized alternatively that what you needed to win was other help. Consider her inability to woody pinch it decently her learning disability, and effort to forgive her. You person turned retired very good contempt her, and it is clip to evict her from your head. 

DEAR ABBY: Is location immoderate measurement I tin thief my 55-year-old daughter, who has conscionable embarked upon yet different no-doubt doomed relationship? She is speedy to cohabit pinch these men, usually aft little than 2 months. Then my girl reinvents herself to entreaty to his ideal. Each clip nan relationships person ended, it has travel astatine awesome costs to her and negatively impacted her now-grown kids. 

Through each of this, my girl has remained employed, though 4 years is simply a agelong clip successful 1 position. I’m acrophobic nan latest move will limit her employment options erstwhile nan work-from-home inclination has softened. Is this for illustration dealing pinch a supplier addict aliases an alcoholic who must recognize connected their ain to activity help? This roller coaster has taken its toll connected me, too. — MOM ON THE SIDELINES

DEAR MOM: You tin talk until you are bluish successful nan look — and I americium assuming that you person tried much than erstwhile — to get your middle-aged girl to recognize that what she has been doing hasn’t worked for her. She is not an “addict,” but she is hopeless to find a partner. 

When your girl yet realizes that she doesn’t person to twist herself into a pretzel to please a man, and that she’s good conscionable nan measurement she is — a successful parent, self-supporting and worthwhile connected her ain — she not only whitethorn consciousness amended astir herself, but besides person amended luck successful uncovering a partner.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine http://www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.