As a mom of two on the campaign trail, I think about elections differently now

One day successful precocious August, I was getting fresh to question and reply nan erstwhile leader of nan free world, 1 of nan astir celebrated group connected nan planet, and my mind was connected my toddler, who would beryllium starting pre-school successful a fewer days.

My boy was astir to spell done a awesome life adjustment, and I was gone. I would beryllium location for his first day, I reminded myself, and this interview would beryllium a profession highlight. But I would miss his orientation, gathering his teacher, and different festivities surrounding this rite of transition for my first born.

As I stood successful a manufacturing installation successful York, Pennsylvania, that afternoon, waiting for erstwhile President Donald Trump to talk to me, nan pangs of mom guilt felt peculiarly sharp.

I've covered 4 statesmanlike campaigns, but this 1 is my first arsenic a mom. This election of a life comes astatine a precious clip successful my sons' lives. I've not wanted to miss retired connected an assignment, and I've not wanted to miss retired connected my kids, ages 3 and one. I marvel that I get to witnesser history for a living. And yet I americium absent for important moments astatine home. 

But motherhood has changed nan measurement I deliberation astir authorities and elections for nan better. Our process of selecting a leader besides serves arsenic a beat cheque of nan country, and I spot a large portion of my occupation arsenic reporting connected what Americans opportunity they request and attraction about. People intelligibly person a batch of concerns crowding their regular lives: things are expensive, nan world seems connected edge, and nan early feels uncertain. They want a better, safer life for their children — that's nan principle of nan American dream. There are conscionable truthful galore different views astir what that looks like. 

You don't person to beryllium a mom to understand these things; you conscionable person to beryllium a human. But this clip around, I find I person much empathy than I erstwhile did. I besides interest much than I utilized to. And immoderate of nan biggest issues successful this peculiar predetermination are ones I'm facing myself. 

My first mobility to Trump that time successful August was astir nan child taxation credit. I walk half of my take-home net connected kid care. As personification who buys gallons of beverage a week for my sons, I cringe astatine nan market bill. I americium concerned astir what my kid mightiness beryllium exposed to astatine school, and whether he is physically safe successful nan building. I went done fertility treatments to person my first son. I cognize what it's for illustration to desperately want a child. And I'm fortunate capable to cognize nan joyousness of becoming a parent. I besides suffered from postpartum depression. I cognize really difficult it is to navigate a aesculapian and intelligence wellness strategy that tends to time off mothers behind. 

And I understand that I travel from a position of immense privilege, pinch a doting hubby who takes connected equal, if not more, parenting duties, 2 incomes, family adjacent by to help, awesome childcare and a occupation that I hap to love. The resources I person are not disposable to most. That is an injustice. And it's mounting women back.  

All of this informs my reporting. Many of nan voters I've met connected nan run way conscionable request personification to perceive them. And I've been trying to listen. I'm successful awe of group consenting to move their hearts retired to a newsman — a complete alien — successful nan hopes of making a difference. I won't hide sitting successful a surviving room successful North Carolina arsenic a mates described their difficult IVF travel to me. And I won't hide a female I met astatine a Trump rally successful Virginia who told maine her boy had died from an overdose. 

To person conversations for illustration those, I've missed immoderate conversations astatine my ain meal table. I was successful a battleground authorities alternatively of attending backmost to schoolhouse astatine night. Lately, I've spent much nights successful edifice rooms than successful my kids' rooms, tucking them into bed. 

But my boys are connected my mind astatine each minute, from nan large interviews to nan mini scenes. I sewage to FaceTime them from nan level of nan Republican National Convention. I ordered their Halloween costumes while connected nan Trump property plane, flying location complete nan Midwest. I bring them location books from nan states I've visited truthful they tin study astir wherever I've been. And everytime I spot a building conveyance connected nan trail, I return photos for my digger-loving three-year-old. (Yes, "the garbage truck" was a hit.) 

My youngest boy is connected nan verge of taking his first steps. I'm crossing my fingers that he waits until aft I get location from covering nan election. But if not, I cognize he'll support walking. And I will, too. Being a mom and being a journalist are nan honors of my life. And I americium incredibly grateful for this journey. 

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• Donald Trump
• Election